


Impossible

by Sauffie



Series: Unspoken verse [2]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 14:39:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sauffie/pseuds/Sauffie
Summary: Set two months after the end of Unspoken.Mike meets with Rachel for lunch because he wants to discuss something important with her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I guess it could be read as a stand alone, but to fully understand what's going on, I would strongly advise you to read Unspoken first.  
> Gosh it feels so good to write again! Especially those two!!! I'm thinking of adding many other stories to this verse, mostly updates on all of the characters. Hope you enjoy them, starting with this one and our royal couple, Marvey! Thanks a lot for reading! <3

Mike puts his phone back in his pocket and walks in crowded the restaurant. Rachel just texted him to tell him she was going to be 5 minutes late and that he should go in and get them a table.

The room is packed and there doesn’t seem to be any available table. As he walks to the small (and empty) reception counter, he tries to focus on the many sounds emanating from the tables. Cutlery clinking against plates, chairs being dragged on the old wooden floor, loud chatters, laughs, coughs… it is pretty loud and Mike wonders how people can handle conversations in such a noisy environment.

“Sir?”

“Oh!”, Mike turns back around and smiles. Judging by the waiter’s face, he’s been trying to catch his attention for a while. “Hi”, he says and clears his throat, trying to remember what he learned in speech therapy. _Breathe. Articulate. Use every muscle in your mouth_. “I’d like a table for two?”

“We’re booked right now”, the waiter replies, typing on his pad. “But”, he types some more and looks up. “A couple of tables should clear up in the next 30 minutes, would you like to wait?”

“Sure”, Mike nods. This is Rachel’s favourite restaurant and a half-hour wait isn’t that bad.

“Alright”, the man nods back. “Go grab a drink at the bar, I’ll let you know as soon as a table is available.”

“Thank you, Sir”, Mike says gratefully and crosses the room to the bar where he orders a glass of white wine.

He hasn’t seen Rachel in two weeks, she is never home, always at Donna’s and when she is, she comes home late and is up and gone before Mike. She’s currently very busy handing all her cases over to her replacement as she’s joining Pearson Specter in a month. Mike misses her a lot but he’s been busy too.

Since he got out of the hospital two months ago, his life has taken a complete turn. He finished his photography gig for Alex and did a couple of other jobs, but mostly, he’s been studying for the MCAT that he is taking next week. He didn’t want to wait for another year and his memory skills enable him to study very fast. He’s pretty confident about the exam and can’t wait to start med school.

One of the first things he did when he got out of the hospital was sign up for speech therapy, which he has 2 times a week. His speech is the only thing that prevents him from feeling completely normal and, though he’s already made a lot of progress according to Harvey, he still hates the way he sounds.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, it’s Rachel asking him where he is.

He waves at her from the bar and the smile on her face when she spots him makes Mike realize that he’s missed her even more than he thought. In this whole new world he’s slowly getting to know again, she’s home, she’s the one thing that’s always been there for as long as he can remember.

“Hey!”, she exclaims and opens her arms wide when she finally reaches the bar. “I’ve missed you so much”, she sighs as they hug.

“Me too”, Mike smiles when they part. “Want a glass? The waiter said a table would be available in 30 minutes.”

 

“So”, Rachel puts down her fork and narrows her eyes. “You said you were going to move into Harvey’s old apartment and yet you still haven’t packed a thing, what’s going on?”

Mike sighs and looks down at his delicious pesto lasagna. That’s exactly what he needed to talk about with Rachel but it’s also the most stressful thing in his life at the moment.

“What happened?”, she asks worryingly when he doesn’t answer. “What did Harvey do?”

“Nothing”, Mike shakes his head. It’s going to take time for Harvey and Rachel to trust each other again, he realizes. “He’s… he’s been perfect, really. It’s me.”

Rachel grabs her glass of wine and takes a long sip, waiting for her best friend to muster the courage to tell her what’s going on. And by the looks of it, she’s not going to like it. Mike looks desperate and sad.

“You know I’m taking the MCAT next week, right?”, he finally says, and Rachel nods. “Well, I told Dr. d’Alliet about it. I sent her an update last week, telling her about my plans and everything and…”, he sighs again, this time longer and louder. “She skyped me last night. We talked about the MCAT and med school and… She offered me to go to med school in Paris”, he says in one breath and exhales sharply.

“Oh…” is all Rachel manages to say.

“They have this international program for students and she says it’s the best”, Mike continues and Rachel can see the war raging in his eyes. A war between the excitement of doing something he’s always dreamt of doing in one of the world’s most beautiful cities, and what going abroad would imply. “She offered to let me stay with her family for free, in their big apartment… She really wants me to come.”

“What do you think?”, Rachel asks and clears her throat.

“I don’t know…”, Mike huffs. “Or rather I do know what I want. I want to go to Paris and I want you, Harvey and all my friends to go as well, but that’s impossible.”

“Have you talked to Harvey about the offer?”, she asks but she’s pretty sure he hasn’t.

“No”, he shakes his head. “I… I can’t. I don’t know how to tell him, or even _what_ to tell him. It’s an amazing opportunity, but I… I just- we just started something, you know?”

Rachel nods and places a hand on one of Mike’s.

“Okay”, she smiles. “Imagine you’re not dating Harvey, I’m not your best friend and you’re basically alone. What do you do with that offer?”

“I take it, of course! But I’m not alone”, Mike protests. “That’s the whole point!”

“Look, you’re right, it’s an amazing opportunity and it’s not going to happen again. Dr. d’Alliet gave you your dream when she fixed your ear and now she’s offering you another life-changing opportunity. You can’t let it pass if that’s what you really want. You can’t let it pass because of me, or Harvey”, she adds and she feels a bit like a hypocrite telling him he shouldn’t choose based on Harvey. She doesn’t know what she would do if faced with the same choice. She would think of Donna too. “You need to do it for you, this is _your_ life. I will miss you like crazy, but we will all still be here when you come back”, she smiles.

“That’s four years, Rachel”, Mike sighs. “You will be here, I am sure of that, and Donna and your little princess daughter”, he smiles and Rachel shakes her head with a smile. “But Harvey won’t wait for me. You know it.”

“Okay first of all, let’s not talk about babies, Donna and I had yet another talk on the subject last night and it almost turned into a fight”, she takes another sip of wine. “And no, I am not Harvey, I don’t know what he would think of that, if he would wait for you or not. And you don’t either.”

“Come on, Rach’”, Mike pushes his plate away and rolls his eyes. “Nobody in their right mind would wait 4 years while their boyfriend or girlfriend is away.”

“How would you know?”, Rachel teases. “Need I remind you that Harvey’s your first boyfriend?”

“Haha”, Mike glares.

“No, but seriously, it’s not 4 years in a row. There are vacations and stuff. Harvey would visit you in Paris. Heck, he’d buy a private jet to visit you!”, she laughs. “Isn’t it something he would _totally_ do?”

Mike purses his lips and looks away. Before talking to Rachel, he had really tried to not give Dr. d’Alliet’s offer too much thought, he had carefully avoided the subject because it was too much, it was too painful to think about. Because deep down, as soon as he read the doctor’s email, he knew he wanted to go. Travelling is something he has always wanted to do and Paris of all places a city he has always dreamt of visiting. So many beautiful pictures to take, memories to make… But Harvey is also a dream come true. Harvey is something Mike had finally accepted would never happen but still dreamt about. It’s still very new, but they’ve been through so much already that Mike’s pretty confident about the relationship. He is in love with Harvey, so deeply in love sometimes he feels like crying or giggling when he thinks about him. Harvey has his heart and when they’re not together, he’s all Mike can think about.

“I got it”, Rachel pulls him out of his reverie. “You don’t trust Harvey.”

“Wh-“, Mike begins to protest as a blush starts creeping up his cheeks. “That’s not-“

“That’s exactly what it is, Mike. And you know how I know it, apart from the fact that you’re blushing tellingly? It’s because that was my first concern when you talked about leaving.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t trust him”, Mike corrects. “I don’t _know_ if I can trust him.”

“Same difference”, Rachel rolls her eyes. “You need to figure that out. And not just to make a decision regarding your potential departure. You need to trust him, otherwise there can be no relationship. Trust is the foundation of everything.”

“I guess I trust him”, he grabs Rachel’s glass and takes a sip. “I mean, yeah, I know there’s just me, we see each other almost everyday. But if I couldn’t see what he does or know who he spends his time with, I’m not sure I could trust him.”

“Then you don’t trust him. Period. There’s no _guessing_ ”, she airquotes. “You need to find a way to trust him. Whether you decide to go to Paris or not.”

 

 

After lunch with Rachel, which turned out less nice than expected even if they still managed to catch up and have a couple of laughs, Mike decides to go visit Trevor at Hope. He has been there only once since being released from the hospital to talk to Trevor, to explain to him what was going on and why he didn’t tell him about the surgery. He had no idea how Trevor would take the news and he took it amazingly well. He hugged Mike and kept shaking his head and signing the word “incredible”. Mike reassured him, told him that it would have no impact on the association, apart from the fact that they would have to find a new accountant since he was going to take the MCAT and hopefully start med school.

They both decided not to tell the other members or the visitors about Mike’s hearing. First because they didn’t want to give them false hope, and second because the deaf community is a very small world, which doesn’t always include hearing people because they think they can’t really understand them. And though Mike’s one of the founding members of the association, though he’s known everybody for years, he doesn’t want anything to change. So, for now, it’s better not to say anything.

For the better part of the afternoon, he helps Trevor with workshops and cleaning the place. He doesn’t hear from Harvey at all, which helps him focus on the tasks at hand. Tonight is supposed to be date night and Harvey said he would call him with the details later. They haven’t seen each other in 3 days, because Harvey has been very busy with work (something just hit the firm really hard and unexpectedly and it’s all basically a mess) and he said that he would “not be very good company”, but he never closed the door, never asked Mike not to come. He simply advised him not to and promised him to get over his work frustrations and make time for Mike before the weekend, hence tonight’s date.

 

Around 7pm, Mike finally gets a text.

_“Sorry, still in a meeting, it’s been a pretty hectic day here. Wanna go to my place and wait for me? Or I can pick you up when my meeting’s over? What do you want to do? xoxo”_

Mike doesn’t have a clue what he wants to do right now. Probably not talk to Harvey.

_“What time do you think you’ll be out?”_

_“No idea… I’d say an hour and a half, so that makes two hours, two and a half tops until I’m home. Sorry about that, last minute drama.”_

_You have no idea_ , Mike thinks as he types something he hopes is not going to open the gates to hell but just delay a little bit a conversation he will have to have with Harvey.

_“It’s okay, let’s just reschedule. I’m beat anyway. Tomorrow night?”_

_“Is everything okay? Do you want me to come over when I’m done? I don’t care if you’re asleep, I’ll tickle you ;)”_

Mike smiles sadly and heaves a long sigh. He told Rachel Harvey was perfect at lunch today, and he meant it. Since Mike got out of the hospital, he’s been the best boyfriend ever.

_“No, thanks though, let’s just do this tomorrow, okay?”_

Mike locks his phone and puts it back in his pocket, hoping the next text will be a traditional “goodnight” text.

Harvey’s reply arrives a couple of minutes later.

_“Do you not want to see me?”_

It’s a punch in the guts because he knows he’s being childish and unclear and hurting Harvey in the process. But he can’t tell him that he needs time to think about something before telling Harvey because he knows Harvey will want to know, will ask a thousand questions and not let go until Mike’s spat it out. And he can’t tell him right now, it wouldn’t come out right.

_“I do, but I’m exhausted and you’re still working. It’s simpler to just push back to tomorrow, don’t you think?”_

Harvey doesn’t text back, he calls Mike.

“Harvey”, Mike replies with a fake cheerfulness.

“Hey, we just took five”, Harvey all but whispers and Mike has to really push the phone against his ear to make out what he’s saying. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, why?”

“Come on”, Harvey says in his low work voice, Mike’s favourite. “Tell me.”

“Everything’s fine, I swear. I’m tired, you’re busy, let’s just-“

“Remember that time we were talking on Facebook and I told you I was busy because I didn’t want to see you and you kept insisting on waiting for me, bringing food, whatever?”, Harvey asks.

“Yes…”, Mike mutters.

“Well, it feels an awful lot like this tonight. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing… Yet”, Mike gives in with a long sigh. “There is something I need to talk to you about and I’m not ready to do that yet and I know that I won’t be able to not tell you if we see each other tonight and-“

“Okay”, Harvey cuts him gently. “I get it. Let’s talk about it tomorrow then.”

_Fucking perfect boyfriend._

“Yeah. Sorry…”

“It’s okay, Mike. Go home, get some rest and call me if you change or mind or need anything, okay?”

“I will. Goodnight, Harvey”

“Goodnight, baby”, Harvey whispers again, this time even lower and Mike suspects people are back in the room. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Mike quickly hangs up the phone and exhales deeply. Dating is hard and he’s not sure he’ll ever get the hang of it. Shouldn’t Harvey have been the first person he told about Dr. d’Alliet’s offer? How is it supposed to work?

He turns on the TV and tries to focus on something other than Harvey and the conversation he had with Rachel at lunch. Does he really not trust Harvey? Does he really think Harvey would jump on the first occasion to cheat on him? What does “trust” mean anyway? He trusts that Harvey will be there for him no matter what, that he’s sure of, because Harvey’s already proved it on more than one occasion. He trusts that Harvey loves him, it shows in everything he does for Mike, in every “baby” or “babe” he calls Mike, in the way he looks at him or rather stares at him when he thinks Mike doesn’t know he’s doing that. He trusts Harvey and his judgments, he trusts him when he gives Mike advice. What Mike’s not 100% sure of is how “enough” he is for Harvey. Is he everything Harvey looks for in a lover? Is he doing what he should? Behaving like he should? Does Harvey have everything he needs with him? Is he enough? Will Harvey ever want to look for more experience, less complicated, free of attachment sex in the arms of a former flame, a new crush? Is it really Harvey Mike doesn’t trust?

With a frustrated grunt, he turns off the TV and pulls his hood over his face. He regrets having cancelled their date night but he’s still not ready to talk to Harvey. It’s not yet clear in his mind. Maybe a good night’s sleep will help. He’s got nothing better to do anyway…

 

 

Harvey comes home around 9, more frustrated than ever and maybe it’s a good thing Mike decided to push their night back a day, because he doesn’t really feel like being patient and listening and being a nice boyfriend. Not tonight, not after the bomb that was just dropped in his office. Harvey can deal with clients leaving, even some of his biggest, because they usually come back after a while. But a class action of said clients suing his firm for wrongdoing? That he can’t even begin to deal with. That’s the final straw after a stressful week. “You can’t win them all” were Jessica’s words when she finally left his office after the explosive meeting. He doesn’t know how yet, but he’s gonna win this alright, with or without Jessica’s help. Something happened, someone is pulling the strings here and he needs to find out who that is.

Right now, he needs a glass of scotch and his favourite armchair. He needs silence and a fucking plan. He could lose his firm, he could lose everything with it, everything he spent his life building.

He’s about to close his eyes and lift his feet up on the coffee table when his phone rings.

“Hey Don’”, he greets with very little enthusiasm.

“I take it it didn’t go well?”

“Even worse”, Harvey replies, rubbing his eyes. “They’re not only leaving us, they’re suing us too. For everything we have!”, he adds and huffs nervously. “This is a fucking nightmare.”

“Suing the firm? Oh my god…”, Donna murmurs. “What can I do, is there anything we can do? Research? Anything?”

“I’ll sleep on it”, he yawns. “I need some time to digest it all and think about our next move. Jessica seems resigned and ready to abandon the ship and I need to find out why that is. I can’t have her leave now, I need to stop the haemorrhage. You’re not leaving, are you?”

“I’m not going anywhere, Harvey”, she says reassuringly. “Get some rest and we’ll talk about it. Mike there with you?”

“No”, Harvey sighs. “He cancelled. Apparently he has something to tell me and he needs some time to figure out how to tell me”, he stops for a moment, a sudden fear clutching his heart. “I guess I’m not done with bad news just yet, there’s more to come, yay!”

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Harvey. You know he always makes a big deal out of the smallest things, he wants to do things right. Get some sleep, okay?”

“Yeah… Thanks for calling, have a good night and say hi to Rachel for me. Tell her that if she doesn’t want to come anymore, I know a lot of firms who are currently hiring.”

“Right!”, Donna burst out laughing. “Nice try, but you’re not going to get rid of her that easily.”

“Goodnight, Don’.”

“Goodnight, Harvey.”

Harvey drinks his glass in one gulp and pours himself another one. He could really use a smoke right now. Or a good fuck. He and Mike have been having a lot of those lately.

For one second, he considers giving Mike a call, not to ask him to come over for a sex marathon, but to tell him about his meeting and update him on what’s going on with the firm. Maybe it’s because communicating is a lot easier since the surgery or maybe it’s because their relationship is moving in the right direction, but they have been talking a lot in the last couple of months. About everything and nothing, like best friends. About their relationship (lots of questions from Mike), about Mike’s plans, about him moving into Harvey’s old bachelor pad, about Rachel and Donna, about Harvey’s work… it’s been really great and easy, and it’s such a contrast with the beginning of their relationship or even any relationship Harvey’s had in the past, that he’s still a bit cautious. It looks and sounds too good to be true, so he keeps an eye out for disaster while doing everything he can to make Mike happy.

He himself is happy, very happy with Mike. What’s happening with the firm has nothing to do with their relationship, but if he loses everything, he might have to sell the apartment on 5th and his condo as well, putting Mike’s plans in jeopardy. And he would hate that. Mike deserves the happiness, the freedom to be anything he wants, and Harvey wants to offer him that.

But he doesn’t call Mike, he decides to let it be, like Mike asked. They’ll talk tomorrow. Until then, another glass of scotch won’t hurt.

 

It’s past midnight when Harvey decides he’s had too much to drink and too little to eat and that he should probably go to bed. He doesn’t even take off all of his clothes, only his pants and socks, which he throws across the room, and he falls face first on the mattress. Tomorrow’s another day, he will sleep this shitty day off and manage to find a way to have things his way, like he always does. That’s basically his last thought before slowly drifting into sleep.

He’s about to really let go when he feels movement on the mattress. His mind’s telling him to open his eyes and see what’s causing it but his body refuses to move an inch. He can hear ragged breathing and limbs crawling on the sheets towards him, and suddenly there’s a very cold, shivering body pressed against his side.

“I’m sorry, Ha’vey…”

 _Mike_. Harvey takes a deep breath and opens his eyes. He reaches a tired and heavy arm to his nightstand and turns on the lamp. Mike is curled up in a naked ball right beside him, apparently out of breath and freezing, his face pressed against Harvey’s shoulder.

“Wh-“, Harvey begins to say and clears his throat. His head is spinning and he feels a bit nauseated. “What’s going on?”, he asks, urging Mike under the covers.

“I couldn’t sleep and…”, Mike sighs and pulls the thick cover up to his chin. “I ran from my place to here, I needed to be with you. I’m sorry about tonight.”

“It’s okay”, Harvey whispers and he plants a kiss on the top of Mike’s head. He takes a look around the bedroom and spots his own clothes as well as Mike’s spread across the carpeted floor. “You should have called, or at least taken a cab, you’re crazy”, he chuckles and quickly takes his shirt off. “I’m glad you’re here…”

Mike sighs and moves closer to Harvey.

“You smell like scotch… How was your meeting? Did you manage to make your client stay?”, he asks and yawns loudly.

“They’re suing us, they want to shut us down…”, Harvey replies, rubbing his face. He doesn’t really feel like talking, doesn’t know if he actually can talk, but Mike seems to want to.

“What do you mean ‘shut you down’?”, Mike’s head jerks up and he looks at Harvey with worried eyes.

“I don’t know yet”, Harvey strokes Mike’s cheek and smile. “Don’t worry, I don’t really want to think about it right now, I’m sorry. It’s…”, he sighs. “Let’s, uh, let’s talk about what you need to tell me”, he gives Mike a small knowing smile.

Mike moves to bury his face in the crook of Harvey’s neck.

“I don’t know what to do…”, he mumbles.

“About what?”, Harvey asks and closes his eyes, because he can’t keep them open.

Mike sighs and Harvey can practically hear the gears turning in his head. It seems to go on for five minutes, maybe more, and when Mike finally speaks, Harvey can’t help a jerky movement giving away the fact that he had fallen asleep.

“Dr. d’Alliet asked me if I wanted to join her program in Paris. It’s one of the world’s best medical teaching programs”, he says, visibly bracing himself. “You know, if I pass the MCAT.”

 _Paris_. That seems to both wake and sober Harvey up.

“But, uh, wha-, for, um, for how long?”, he stutters.

“Med school is 4 years”, Mike replies, his tone very hesitant, very cautious.

Harvey really thought this day couldn’t get any worse, yet it just did. In addition to losing his job, his firm, maybe everything he owns, he’s also going to lose Mike.

His heart starts racing in his chest and his eyes automatically fill up with tears. Like this news was what he needed to let go of his frustration, like this was the last straw. He closes his eyes and clenches his jaw to contain the sudden wave of rage and sadness washing over him. Eventually, after a long moment, he exhales audibly in a deep, soothing breath. When he opens his eyes, he realizes that Mike has sat up on the bed.

“Harvey?”, Mike whispers, his eyes fixed on the tear falling from Harvey’s right eye.

He’s seen Harvey being angry, happy, scared to death, apologetic, caring, expeditious… many things, but he’s never seen Harvey cry. And, as he watched the tear roll along Harvey’s cheek down to his jaw, before it disappears in his neck, he thinks he could have very well lived his whole life without seeing Harvey cry, because it’s fucking heartbreaking.

“Sorry”, Harvey sniffs and wipes his nose. “I’m sorry”, he looks away and shakes his head. “Don’t… I’ve had the worst day ever and I’m drunk, that’s why I… I mean, I’m sorry”, he clears his throat and turns back to Mike, his poise quickly recovered.

“It’s okay”, Mike nods with a smile.

“You were saying you didn’t know what to do…”, Harvey says and pauses, urging Mike to go on with his bad news.

“What do you think I should do?”, Mike asks. “I mean, it’s a great opportunity, but-“

“I can’t help you with that”, Harvey shakes his head. “It’s not my place to say. I can’t know what’s best for you. I can’t choose for you.”

“No, but…”, Mike sighs.

He can read it in Harvey’s eyes. Gone are the tears, or even the affection he usually can see in them. They’re now cold and impatient. Mike knows that look, he recognises the ton of voice too, Harvey feels threatened and he’s upset.

“What do you want to do, Mike? Do you want to go? I don’t really see what’s so difficult here, if it’s one of the best programs in the world”, Harvey says in a barely-hidden mocking voice.

“I have a life here, my friends, _you_ , everything I have is in New York, I can’t just leave it all behind like that.”

“I don’t see why not”, Harvey shrugs and looks away.

Mike swallows thickly and bites his tongue to stop the tears from gathering in his eyes. He genuinely wants to know what Harvey thinks of both the opportunity to go abroad to study and of him being gone for so long. He knows exactly what Harvey’s doing and that he’ll get nothing out if this conversation if he doesn’t regain control over it. He has no intention of playing this game anyway, he won’t give Harvey that satisfaction.

“Wouldn’t you miss me?”, Mike asks a bit defiantly.

That seems to catch his attention. Harvey opens his mouth and quickly closes it again. They then engage in a staring contest Mike is determined to win, even though it’s Harvey’s specialty.

“Would you?”, Harvey finally asks, just as Mike was about to drop his gaze.

“No, I asked first”, he raises a challenging eyebrow.

“Come on”, Harvey rolls his eyes. “I’m not 12, I won’t play that game. Goodnight”, he adds and lies back down, turning his back to Mike.

“Seriously Harvey?!”, Mike exclaims.

“Goodnight, Mike”, Harvey repeats.

“So that’s how you’re going to act every time something doesn’t go your way in our relationship? Every time you’re scared or upset? You’re going to push me away?”, Mike shouts. “You’re a pain in the ass, Harvey! You’re a spoiled brat and you’re impossible!”

He doesn’t miss the almost imperceptible movement in Harvey’s shoulders. He’s close to breaking through.

“I came here because I wanted to tell you, because I wanted your advice, because I thought you cared about me!”

As Mike expected, that totally does the trick.

“Oh you think _I_ don’t care about you?”, Harvey jerks up on the bed. “I’m not the one leaving for 4 years!”

“I never said I was going”, Mike replies calmly. “I came here to ask for your advice, not to tell you that I was leaving.”

“My advice?”, Harvey laughs nervously. “What the hell do you want me to say? Of course it sounds like an amazing opportunity and I know you’ve always dreamt about going to Paris. So my advice is ‘go’! What else could it possibly be?”

“Would you miss me?”, Mike asks again.

“What does it have to do with your decision? You can’t make choices as big as this one based on a 3-month relationship”, Harvey replies, his arms folded across this chest.

“Oh yes, I can”, Mike nods jerkily as Harvey’s words cut through his heart. “And I will. The only reason I’m still questioning whether I should go or not is _you_ ”, he says and this time he can’t prevent the tears from falling. “I guess 3 months means nothing to you, but to me it’s a lot, it’s…”, he swallows audibly. “You’re everything I ever wanted and I have waited _so long_ to meet you! There are great med schools all across the country, but I don’t think there’s another you anywhere on this planet, so excuse me for putting our insignificant 3-month relationship in the equation!”, he cries and leaves the bed. “I shouldn’t have come”, he sniffs and quickly puts on his boxer shorts and jeans.

From the corner of his eye, he can see that Harvey hasn’t moved an inch, as if frozen in place. He’s not going back home with an answer, or he is but it's not the one he was counting on, but at least he won the game, he didn’t let Harvey have the last word. It’s still a very small consolation considering he just learned that if given the same opportunity as Mike, Harvey would choose to go without hesitation. Okay maybe he wouldn’t, Mike knows Harvey loves him, but what he said tonight clearly indicates that he would hesitate much less.

Mike picks up his shoes and walks to the door without so much as a glance for Harvey.

“I would miss you like crazy.”

Mike stops dead in his tracks, but he doesn’t turn around. “I would miss you too”, he whispers. “So much…”, he sobs.

“I’m sorry, baby”, Harvey sighs. “Come back to bed.”

“Why did you not tell me that when I asked?”, Mike turns around and wipes his nose. “Why do you always do that? Pushing me to the limits?”

“Come here”, Harvey pats the bed. “Please.”

Mike reluctantly drops his shoes and drags his feet to the bed. There is something in Harvey’s voice when he says _please_ and _baby_ and _sorry_ that Mike can never resist. He sits on the edge of the bed and crosses his arms expectantly.

“Okay”, Harvey takes a deep breath. “I’m going to give you my honest opinion on the situation, like you asked. I think it’s an amazing opportunity and that your brain deserves the best teaching in the world. I think you deserve to see Paris, to make new friends, to see Dr. d’Alliet again. But I don’t want you to go. I don’t even want to think about it, I…”, he swallows. “I don’t think our relationship is insignificant and I really hope you know that. I love you and… if I had my way, you’d be living here with me, not with Rachel, not in my old apartment”, he exhales sharply. “Voilà.”

“I love you too”, Mike crawls back to Harvey and climbs on his lap. “Why didn’t you tell me that earlier? Did you want to fight?”, he asks and cradles Harvey’s face.

“Say you choose not to go, because you love me and I love you, blah blah and then, three years from now, something happens and we break up. Do you think putting our relationship in the equation will still sound like a good idea?”, Harvey asks.

“So, just because we might break up one day, I should leave you and our relationship out of every decision I make from now on?”, Mike retorts.

“It’s a little more complicated than that. Let’s just say that if you choose not to go because of me and what I just told you, I hope you don’t regret it one day. I hope you don’t resent me.”

Mike smiles and leans in for a quick kiss. “I love you.”

“You didn’t listen to a word I just said, did you?”, Harvey shakes his head with a smile.

“I just needed to know that our relationship was important to you too”, Mike kisses him again. “Would you go to Paris if you had the opportunity?”

Harvey sighs and Mike knows he’s won. He’s going to get the answer he came here for.

“No. No I wouldn’t go, not with what we…”, he licks his lips. “I would consider it and hope to God I’m making the right decision, but I would decline.”

Mike grins and presses his nose against Harvey’s.

“I’m still in the considering it phase”, he whispers. “But you’ll have my decision soon”, he closes the space between them.

As much as he’d love to fuck him right here right now, in this very position, Harvey’s not sure he could. He’s so exhausted, both physically and mentally, that he almost falls asleep kissing Mike.

“We should get some sleep…”, he mumbles when Mike starts nibbling at his jaw.

Mike lets out a disappointed groan and quickly strips off his clothes before regaining his spot next to Harvey, who has lain back down and already closed his eyes.

“Goodnight”, Mike smiles and reaches an arm over Harvey’s face to turn off the light.

He knew he was right to dread this discussion, he knew Harvey would freak out, that’s why he wanted to think about it beforehand, to prepare it. So he went to bed last night, with the intention of falling asleep quickly and think about all of it tomorrow. But he got tired of tossing and turning in his bed, so he got dressed and ran to Harvey’s.

He will give Dr. d’Alliet’s offer more thought, he owes it to her but also to himself. He’s not 100% sure what he wants to do and he will probably talk about it with Harvey again, under different circumstances. Harvey’s right, he deserves the best teaching. But right now, he wants to cuddle with _his_ Harvey, the most stubborn, impossible, yet amazing man he’s ever met.

 

END

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [SoSauffie](http://sosauffie.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


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